As far back as I could remember, my luck had always sucked.
But, I told myself, I was the “nice guy” and “nice guys finish last,” as the saying goes.
So that was that.
I got passed over for the promotion, sat on the bench in sports, and never got the girl.
And I had relegated myself to that life. That’s just what it was going to be.
I was the guy who made it through life by keeping his head down, working a simple job that paid the bills and looked forward to retirement.
In other words — I settled.
It wasn’t until I made a radical life shift that everything changed.
Making a Big Change to Increase Your Luck
“You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocket ship underpants don’t help.”
― Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes
Two things happened in rapid succession:
- The girl of my dreams got married, ending that pipe dream.
- I moved to Minneapolis — which doesn’t seem significant, but to a guy who graduated with fifty people in his class and lived in a small town my entire life, I assure you; the change was massive.
At the same time, I reflected on my life and decided that this wasn’t just going to be a location change — it would be a Jay change.
I studied how to meet and talk to women, be more well-liked, and increase my confidence. I was sure that I sucked at all of it. To prove that out, all I had to do was to look at my past.
It took a while, but something funny happened. I started talking more. I made friends easier. I met women easier.
Slowly I transformed from a shy, quiet guy who kept mostly to himself and lacked self-confidence, to a guy who loved talking to others, met people naturally and often, with growing self-confidence.
And slowly, things started changing.
People noticed at work, and soon, without even trying, they put me on a leadership and growth path.
I went from spending my nights watching TV and preparing for the next day to a booked calendar doing fun things with awesome people.
The First Time I Was “Lucky”
I remember walking into the restaurant across the street from my condo.
I remember sitting down to have a drink while waiting for friends.
And I remember the cute girl sitting across from me, and saying to myself, “holy moly.” (I say weird things to myself.)
But too much, “holy moly.” I didn’t dare talk to her. Nope. No way.
I got scared.
But it turns out that I didn’t have to — because she walked over and talked to me.
And my friends called me “lucky.”
But was it really luck?
Maybe it was, but…
Where Did this Luck Come from and Why Now?
I examined it.
I turned it over in my hands like the first time I tried to solve the Rubik’s cube.
But as opposed to that frustrating Rubik’s cube, I was going to solve this. I had to.
Where did this come from? What changed that this beautiful woman would make her way over and talk to me?
What the hell changed?
I was the same person as a year ago, yet this would have never happened a year ago.
Well, I was certainly more confident.
I had more friends, and most times, I brought groups of friends together, so I could be considered the center of attention, and with all of this, I walked and talked to everyone with more confidence.
It was an exciting scenario.
My newfound confidence was causing these little things to occur that would have never happened to me before — some would call it luck — and in turn, my confidence would increase.
My newfound confidence was causing a snowball effect.
What was happening?
I was creating my own luck.
Do you want some great news?
You can too.
Below are some strategies to increase your luck, boost your confidence, and improve your life.
And turn it into a vicious cycle of the best degree.
Strategies to Increase Your Luck
Whether or not you believe in superstition (and most of us do: Athletes with their lucky socks, businessmen with their lucky suit and tie, me with my lucky game day Vikings underwear), the fact is this:
Being lucky is a state of mind.
Believing in luck is a self-fulfilling prophecy. It can reduce anxiety and increase self-confidence and, in turn, make it all the more likely that “luck” will occur.
And when it does, your self-confidence increases, your expectations increase, and you start finding success in what you put your mind to.
And then, my friends, you’re snowballing. You’re a giant self-confidence snowball rolling down the gigantic hill of life.
Are you ready?
It’s time to get lucky.
Give Yourself The Opportunities to Be Lucky
I have a question for you:
If you lock yourself in your house every night binge-watching Netflix, eating Doritos, and drinking Modelo (Hey, I like those nights as much as the next guy, just not all the time), how much luck do you think you’re going to have?
Probably not much.
All you have to do to change that is to start showing up.
Get out there, be open to new opportunities, meet new people, try new things.
Looking back at my life, I’ve become convinced that at least 70% of the things that I wanted in my twenties were attainable. The promotions, the friends, the girl of my dreams, but I wasn’t open to the possibilities.
But it got worse…
Expect Good Things to Happen
Worse was that I never even thought these things possible.
Why would I get this promotion? I’m not that good of a worker.
Why would she like me? I’m a nobody.
Not only did I never open myself up to these possibilities, I never believed in myself. I never expected these good things to happen.
And I now know that it was all there for me, had I just believed.
How do I know?
Once I became open to everything, I became a key cog in our business. Had I opened up seven years prior, who knows where I could have ended up.
How about the girl of my dreams? She told me. The opportunity was there, had I just opened myself to the possibility and believed in myself.
So you see, the luck was there — I just wasn’t willing to accept it.
When you expect good things to happen, you tend to receive more often than not.
And for those of you not wanting to set high expectations, so you don’t fail — if you don’t set high expectations, the odds of you getting there are practically zero.
Sure, you won’t reach every bar you set, but you won’t even come close if you don’t set one.
Don’t Let Bad Luck Get You Down
“Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.”
― Dalai Lama XIV
Because things happen that you don’t want to happen.
It’s life.
Those that are most successful flip the script.
They don’t dwell on it.
They look at it, learn from it, make the best of it, and move on.
Don’t let it get you down.
Remember:
Not getting what you want now may turn out to be just what you need later.
Take Responsibility for Your Life
I spent years blaming others for my lack of luck. My parents for how they raised me, the small-town society I grew up in, friends, family, coworkers.
You name it.
But once I got to a better place, I was able to look back and see all the opportunities I still had.
I just never took control of my own life. I never took responsibility for the things that had or hadn’t happened.
I put my head down, did the Charlie Brown walk, and drank my sorrows away.
I lived a Woe Is Me, lifestyle.
But once you take responsibility for yourself, you reclaim your power. You realize you have the power to change your life.
Once you take responsibility for your life and your ability to change your situation, you will change your luck.
Get Relief from Your Stress
“Some days, I just wanna leave the negativity in my head
I just want relief from my stress
I just want relief from my stress
Some days, I don’t wanna see or
Have a bunch of people to impress
I just want relief from my stress
Yeah, I just want relief from my stress”.
~NF
When you’re constantly worrying about your stress, you’re not open to seeing the opportunities presenting themselves to you, even if they’re right in front of your face.
What’s stressing you out so much?
You may need to step back to figure out what it is.
Then start to do something about it.
Stop Time Traveling
One major stressor in your life is this:
You.
Most of us are busy time traveling every day.
We’re too busy regretting our past.
We’re too busy worrying about our future.
Too busy stressing out about it all.
Too busy to see all the opportunities that present themselves right now.
Put yourself in the position to notice everything life has to offer right now, and you’ll see luck come your way more often.
Stay Busy and Learn
“I’m a greater believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.”
~ Thomas Jefferson
Great accomplishments never come easily.
So work hard at what you want, continue learning, and the opportunities you want will start to present themselves.
Even the changes I went through — gaining self-confidence and becoming more likable — were a product of hard work. I read every book I could find, took every class I could take, talked to everyone I could learn even the tiniest bit from.
To this day, I constantly learn, and I continuously grow.
If you want luck, grow your knowledge and work hard.
Be Generous and Talk to Others
Be kind to others, always.
Be generous to them. Talk to them. Listen to them like they’re your best friend, even if they’re just making your morning cup of coffee.
And understand them.
Do this all the time, and you’ll notice a funny thing:
Your life will start filling with more opportunities.
Count Your Lucky Pennies
Lastly, I want to give you a minor task to show you the power you have over your luck.
Do you consider finding pennies good luck? Maybe only when they’re heads-up pennies?
Whichever it is, do this:
For one month, decide you will find 25 good luck pennies.
And keep track of how many you find. Think about it every time you’re out walking. Visualize finding them.
You might be surprised by how many you find.
Why did you find these? Was it luck? Was it because you were open to it? Was it because you were trying for it?
Do you see where I’m going here?
Experience More Luck in Your Life by Increasing Your Chances to Be Lucky
“Luck has a way of evaporating when you lean on it.”
~ Brandon Mull
I look back on my twenties, and I can’t believe how blinded I allowed myself to be to the reality of the situation.
When all I had to do to increase my luck was to be open to the possibilities all around me.
And sadly, not being open to the possibilities also meant being blind to the opportunities that were hitting me upside the head every day.
I could look back on it with regret, but I don’t. I realize that I could easily still be this way. I could have easily missed out on all the luck that has come my way since — just like so many still do.
To increase your luck and find the opportunities in this life that you want, open yourself up, expect good things to happen, and watch as you find your lucky pennies.
