One of the most difficult things for me to look back on are my failures.
I think we all struggle with this. Looking back at our mistakes, missed opportunities, and failures as regrets.
But the hardest part for me is realizing that it wasn’t an outside influence that caused them — the failures are all my fault.
Whether a failed business goal, a failed career move, or a failed business venture.
A failed relationship, a failed marriage, a failed friendship.
Whether I tried hard, gave up too soon, or didn’t try at all.
I realize that they have one thing in common — I gave up too soon.
Some failures are meant to be, sometimes you make a choice that you made a bad decision or a wrong decision, and you correct course.
But some, maybe many — at least the ones that sting with regret when I think of them — were because I gave up when things got tough.
The Power of Failure
What do you think when you hear the term failure? It probably brings to mind that you’re not good enough to accomplish something.
The term failure definitely has a negative connotation associated with it.
But the simple definition of failure is: An act or instance of failing or proving unsuccessful; lack of success.
When I think of failure now, I think of Thomas Edison — I’m sure you’ve heard one of his most famous quotes:
“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work. I am not discouraged because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward.”
Failure is an act of failing — it does not mean you are a failure.
If you want to see your goals and desires come to fruition, especially those hard-to-reach dreams that float into your head whenever you get a moment to yourself, you have to adopt the attitude of Thomas Edison.
If you look at a failure as merely a building block of success —something to learn from and try again — then you have the attitude of success.
Failure isn’t fatal. It’s not the endgame. It’s just a step in the direction of success.
You’re Not a Failure
“Failure is an event, never a person.”
~William D. Brown
Take those words to heart.
Too often we confuse an event with who we are.
You’d never say Thomas Edison or Henry Ford were failures, would you?
Yet, they were unsuccessful many, many times in their pursuit of success. They got knocked down, and they got back up again. Each and every time.
“You can’t have any successes until you accept failures.”
~George Cukor
And they didn’t give up until they found the answer to solve their dilemma, and were ultimately successful.
The next time you try your hand at something and don’t achieve your desired result, remember: failure is an event. It’s not you.
Failure is a Stepping Stone
“You always pass failure on your way to success.”
~Mickey Rooney
Failure is simply a mistake with a very negative connotation.
We should shift our mindset of failure from the negative to the positive.
A failure often needs to happen in order for you to ultimately succeed, because failure is how you learn, grow, and change your ways.
Sara Blakely, the founder of Spanx, is one of my favorite stories. It’s easier if I let her tell it:
“My dad encouraged us to fail. Growing up, he would ask us what we failed at that week. If we didn’t have something, he would be disappointed. It changed my mindset at an early age that failure is not the outcome, failure is not trying. Don’t be afraid to fail.”
By her father telling her from an early age (not only telling, but showing), that failure is normal, Sara’s mindset was much different than most. She grew up not thinking about failure as negative, but that it’s a completely normal, and much-needed, step.
And she learned one of the most important lessons of all:
Failure is not trying.
Failure is Not Your Final Defeat…It’s Just the Beginning
“Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat.”
~F. Scott Fitzgerald
Whatever you’re trying to do, whatever you’re trying to succeed at, remember that failure is not fatal, and its not final. It’s a step in the right direction. Perhaps a new beginning.
When you fail at something, take a moment to take it in. Take a moment to understand what happened and why.
And alter your plan with the new information you’ve gained.
You’re now armed with the ability to overcome that particular failure, and move forward with more wisdom.
“Show me a person who has never made a mistake and I’ll show you someone who has never achieved much.”
~Joan Collins
My friends, mistakes and failures are how you grow and how you will ultimately succeed in your wildest aspirations.
If you give up after every failure, or you don’t even allow yourself to make a mistake for that fear of failure that holds so many of us back — then you’ll never get to where you want to be.
You’ll never create that greatness in your life that you’ve always longed for.
So, if you, like me, have big goals and dreams you’re chasing, take a moment to step back and see failure for what it is.
A necessary step on your way to your ultimate success.
I’ll leave you with one more quote from the master of failure himself:
“Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”
~Thomas Edison
Don’t look back, wondering how close you were to success when you gave up — get there.
